


don't threaten me with a good time

by mediocregrace



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 18:59:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17648153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mediocregrace/pseuds/mediocregrace
Summary: Sometimes it's a good idea to ensure that one puts the correct email when ordering sex toys, in order to avoid embarrassing situations involving certain people receiving sensitive emails.





	don't threaten me with a good time

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! It's been a while since I've posted anything, but if you desire, you can find me at heterophobiclarry on tumblr!

It started out as a normal day, really. Harry went to his shift at the bakery, he came home, he had a wank, and he really seriously considered quitting his job to work in the camming industry, because honestly, he had a great body, a nearly insatiable sex drive, and nobody to indulge him.  
He sighed as he browsed a popular sex toy website, trying to decide whether or not he wanted to buy a butt plug. He had recently moved from his hometown to London, and despite being in a bigger pond, he was having a difficult time finding someone that he was comfortable sleeping with.  
All the guys he’d matched with on Grindr just... weren’t right. He’d talk to them for a minute before finding out that they assumed he’d be a dom and a top because of his size, despite the plea is his bio for “someone to dominate me during sex and occasionally daily life”  
With a final sigh, he entered his information in the website and ordered a pretty silicon starter plug, choosing to add a password so he’d be able to easily access his order information later on.  
\---  
When Harry woke up in the morning, he plugged his information into the sex toy website again to check if his order had shipped, except - oh god - he’d misspelled his email.  
Fortunately he was able to get into the account and change the email on the site, but the color drained from his face as he knew the damage had already been done, that some stranger would get an email listing Harry’s full name, his address and the item he had ordered.  
He frantically texted his best mate Niall, asking him what to do.  
Niall simply responded with “ur a fckn idiot harold.”  
Harry supposed he deserved it. He logged into his email, struggling with what to say to the person who just received the information that he’d ordered a buttplug.  
“Hi!  
I know this is probably really weird, but I just wanted to apologize because I accidentally put your email address on a rather private order I made last night. I changed the email on my account quickly, but I think they probably still sent you an email about the order being accepted.  
I’m really sorry!  
-Harry x”  
He closed his eyes and hit send, praying that the email address was a spam account or something, and that nobody would receive either email.  
No such luck.  
\---  
Louis sat at his kitchen table, mindlessly eating cereal as he checked his personal email before getting ready for work. He deleted what felt like tons of emails before seeing one that caught his eye.  
The subject line read: “URGENT: I’m a colossal failure of a person and I’m so sorry.”  
Intrigued, Louis scanned through the email, trying and failing to suppress a laugh at the contents. The man on the other end of the email was so frantic and embarrassed in his apologies that Louis almost felt bad for him, deciding to draft a response back.  
“Hi Harry,  
No worries mate, gave me quite the laugh before work, so I have to thank you for giving me a good start to my day. And honestly? I order from that site so often that I probably would’ve just deleted the email thinking it was spam from them, so you kinda gave yourself up there.  
Enjoy your plug! It’s a good one.  
-Louis :) x”  
\----  
Despite his embarrassment, Harry couldn’t help but laugh when he opened the reply from the man he had learned was named Louis.  
As he scanned through the email, he was intrigued at Louis’ comments that seemed to imply that he was a frequent patron of that particular website, and had enough knowledge of butt plugs to know that the one Harry had chosen was a good one.  
Against his better judgement, Harry decided to take a chance, and sent Louis an email inquiring about other sex toy recommendations.  
\---  
Despite being at work for an arguably high-end, busy law firm, Louis couldn’t stop thinking about Harry. He sighed and opened Facebook, searching the name “Harry Styles”, adding “London” to narrow the search results.  
Fortunately for him, only one result fit the criteria. He examined the profile, gasping once he realized that Harry was, in fact, ungodly attractive. Before he knew it, he was far enough back on Harry’s wall to discover uni photos, when he realized he’d definitely crossed the creepiness threshold long ago.  
He was shocked out of that train of thought by an email notification that brought a smile back to his face. He hadn’t expected to receive a reply from Harry, and yet, there it was.  
“Hi again,  
I hope this isn’t too weird but I was wondering if you had any recommendations for other good sex toys? I’m just kind of starting out with that stuff and your email made me think you had some experience?  
Feel free to ignore this if it’s too weird.  
-H x”  
Deciding that he didn’t want to have this conversation forever documented in his email history, he simply replied to Harry with his Snapchat username and a note that he should contact him that way from now on.  
\----  
Harry and Louis spent quite a while longer communicating through Snapchat than either of them would admit to anyone else. Their conversations about sex toys eventually developed into general conversations about life and their careers. They discovered that they actually worked quite close to each other. Harry’s bakery was an easy walk from the firm Louis was working at.  
One thing led to another, perhaps beginning with Louis snapping Harry a picture of his sex toy collection, perhaps it was the fact that it was late at night, perhaps it was just the culmination of the last few days, or Harry’s rampant desire to have his first sexual relationship in what felt like forever, however it happened, Harry looked down at his phone and a picture of Louis’ cock was staring back at him.  
In any other situation, receiving a picture of someone’s genitals without explicit prompting could be upsetting, but Harry had been nearly expecting it, given the context of the conversation leading up to that point. Still, given that, Harry was awestruck. Before he knew it, the ten second photo had timed out and he was left with the mental image of a perfect, uncut, pink cock and a neat nest of brunette pubes, burned into his mind permanently.  
He couldn’t really think of anything to respond, beyond taking a picture of his own to send Louis, so that’s what he did. They exchanged increasingly explicit snaps, until Harry bit the bullet and sent a video of him stroking his cock, breathy moans just barely picking up on the microphone.  
\---  
After their Snapchat exchange the previous night, both Harry and Louis were on the same page about wanting to meet and soon. Harry was quick to accept Louis’ invitation to get coffee together the following Friday, knowing that his plug would likely be in his mailbox long before then.  
As if God himself was smiling down on him, a small, discretely labeled package was in Harry’s mailbox when he went out to check. Smirking, he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of the package to Louis with a “you know what this is ;)” caption.  
Fortunately for Harry, it was his day off. He rushed back into his apartment fully ready to get right into it before getting an idea. He wanted to enjoy it, wanted to really enjoy it. He took his time to set a mood, lighting candles, laying out towels and getting out the drug store lube he’d picked up the other day. Like he’d read on the internet, he hopped into the shower and cleaned himself out with soap and water so that the experience would be as clean as possible.  
As he laid down, starting to prep himself with a single, lubed-up finger, he’d checked his phone to see a new snap from Louis. The screen was black, a simple “show me when it’s in, princess.” across the screen. Harry did his best to capture what he was doing with his camera, which proved to be difficult with the angle.  
After a long, drawn out period of fingering himself, Harry finally slipped the plug into his hole, gasping at the feeling of fullness. When he finally felt good to stand up, he padded over to his floor length mirror, turning around so that he could capture an image of the jeweled end of the plug nestled between his cheeks.  
\---  
Louis felt his mouth go dry and he had to run to the nearest bathroom to avoid sporting a hard-on at his desk. He checked that the bathroom was empty before claiming the furthest stall from the door. He snapped Harry a picture of his cock in his hand, captioned “Had to head to the bathroom to wank after that one. Can’t wait for Friday.”  
He finished into the toilet, muffling his moans with his other hand. He closed his eyes, laughing at the absurdity of the situation he had found himself in over the last few weeks. He washed his hands and returned to his desk, but remained unable to focus.  
His friend and coworker, Liam, stopped into his office and asked him why he’d been so weird all day, and for some reason, Louis told him.  
He told Liam about the strange boy who’d accidentally sent him an email about his sex toy order, told him about the boy he’d been talking to almost nonstop for the last few weeks, who he couldn’t stop thinking about no matter how hard he tried.  
After he got done with his long-winded speech, he turned to see Liam absolutely losing it. Noticing Louis’ glare, Liam tried to calm down, “I’m sorry I -” he was caught up in another fit of laughter, “That’s the kind of coincidence that happens to genuinely only you. What are the chances that his weird throwaway email would be two letters off from yours?”  
Louis thought for a second, “I don’t want to be cheesy, but, I kinda think it’s fate.”  
\---  
Harry wasn’t exactly sure how he was feeling about meeting Louis in person for the first time. He was a weird medley of embarrassed, excited and a little turned on. He walked into the mostly-empty coffee shop and chose a relatively secluded table. He pulled out his phone to let Louis know that he was in the cafe and already seated.  
Leaving his stuff at the table, he got up and ordered a coffee and a pastry. When he turned around to return to his seat, he saw a familiar face walking in the door. He and Louis met eyes and shared a small wave.  
Louis walked up to Harry and they eyed each other, unsure of what the proper greeting was in this situation. Both of them went in for a hug at the same time, breaking away only when Louis said, “I’m going to put my coffee order in, and I’ll come meet you back here.”  
They talked long beyond their coffee going cold, talked about family, friends and work lives until, inevitably, “So...do you want to get out of here? We could go back to your place… play around with that pretty plug of yours?”, Louis said with a smirk.  
The smirk washed off Louis’ face and he gulped when Harry said, with an even bigger smirk, “It’s already in, but I’d be glad to have you come back with me and take it out.”  
\---  
Harry and Louis were struggling to get through the door of Harry’s apartment, unable to stop kissing each other for even a second. After a ridiculous length of time and a lot of fumbling, Harry finally had the presence of mind to get his key in the lock and let them in.  
They tumbled into Harry’s room, stripping each other as they went. Louis pushed Harry onto his back, straddling his hips. He sucked a bruise onto Harry’s neck, simultaneously working himself out of his pants. He finally turned Harry over, pulling down his pants to poke at the jeweled butt plug that Harry had in.  
Harry gasped as Louis’ touch pushed the plug against his prostate. Louis smirked, “Can I take it out baby? Can I fuck you?”  
“Oh god Louis please - please fuck me, I need you.” Harry rushed to get the words out, almost breathless.  
Louis carefully removed the plug and covered his fingers in a generous amount of lube. He pressed two fingers inside Harry, then added a third easily, after the stretch the plug had left. When he was satisfied that Harry was sufficiently prepared, he positioned himself at Harry’s entrance and pushed inside.  
Harry winced at the stretch but settled as Louis bottomed out.  
Louis raised an eyebrow, "Are you good, princess?"  
Harry breathed a laugh, nodding enthusiastically as he arched his back, "I'd be better if you moved."  
Louis took the hint and began thrusting. 

\---  
Before either of them knew it, they had collapsed breathlessly together on the bed.  
"That was--" Harry started.  
"I know." Louis interrupted, "We should definitely do that again like, as soon as possible."  
Harry stood up to get a flannel to clean them off, "We absolutely should. But first, take-away? I want Chinese."  
Louis leaned back and beamed, "Chinese sounds incredible right now."

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I could say this wasn't based on real life but it is. The only difference is that I changed the email as fast as possible the next day and never looked back.


End file.
